I can’t have any more children. Now I may get some negative comments for this post, but hey – I’m all about creating a dialogue. So again… I can’t have any more children. No, I didn’t have cysts, or cancer, or any other unfortunate physical ailment. I had my tubes tied. (I told you that this would be juicy.)
I am 31 years young and officially done with having children. As I look at some of my fellow Mommy Bloggers who have chosen to share their stories of infertility and heartbreak, I can’t help but to feel slightly guilty that my baby making parts were all in order and I willingly chose to have them cut, burned, and tied. (Yes, that’s what they do.) At this point, I don’t regret it at all.
I found out that I was having twins about three weeks in. During the appointment that followed, I asked my OB if she’d tie my tubes after I gave birth. She looked at me with disdain and asked, “Why would you want to do that?”
I began to explain to her that from a very young age, I knew that I didn’t want more than two children. I remember thinking that if I ever did like those stinky boys, and chose to have kids with them, that I’d only want two… a boy and a girl. It stuck with me. (I also remember that at one point, I only wanted to have those children with Scott Baio from Charles In Charge. I was a funny girl.)
I went on to explain that I knew my chances would be high of having another set of twins (four times greater than the average woman to be exact), and that four children was just not a good look for me.
She paused for a moment and proceeded to tell me about other options that were available to me and that tubal ligations were, for all intents and purposes, permanent. I said okay, but I couldn’t shake it. I didn’t want to do this again, and I was sure of it.
At each appointment I insisted that she agree to shut down my baby station, and each time she would try to convince me otherwise. I admired her passion, but ultimately it was my choice. Crazily enough though, she had to agree to it and sign off on the procedure.
When I went into labor, my OB met me outside of the operating room doors.
“I’ve gone ahead and signed off on your tubal”, she told me. “You’ve talked about it your entire pregnancy and I truly believe that you know what you’re doing.”
If God forbid my husband and I don’t work out, and I end up with someone else, I’m certain that I won’t want to have any more children. I’m happy with the ones I’ve got; and if God forbid something happened to one of my children, I wouldn’t want another. No one could replace either of my two little angels. I’ve made the right decision. It was a personal decision that may not be right for everyone, but it was definitely right for me. 🙂
First published on Technorati.com by Kesha Chisholm