…and I feel safe in confessing this because even though the fiance is full of suggestions for posts… he never reads them. That’s neither here nor there. Okay… here it goes… The other day, I looked through my fiance’s phone without him knowing. Now before you hit me with an influx of “you deserve whatever you find you untrusting b*tch” comments, let me say for the record that I do not condone this behavior… but I do believe that I was predisposed to it.
As a black woman in a relationship with a black male, you innately bring biases and preconceived ideas into your relationships that tend to make you paranoid. They’re kind of beat into you from birth: all black men cheat… all black men have different baby mommas, all black men like Cheetoes… Okay that one doesn’t apply. Anyways, because of these myths, the thought of being “played” or made a fool of is constantly present – Maybe not in the forefront, but it’s there.
I honestly believe that this is one of the primary reasons why black women ‘juke’ themselves out of finding and keeping a “good” black man. All of the snooping, nit-picking, and paranoia can easily draw a wedge of mistrust in even the most solid of relationships – And quite frankly, I’m a firm believer that if you go looking, you may find something that you didn’t bargain for… which leads us back to my phone snooping… Did I find anything?… No I did not 🙂