…This isn’t for the faint of heart.


Many times people ask me how it was to carry twins. My responses are often marked with expletives as I recount the final months of which my body went through the most change. It was horrifying for me more so than others I believe.

Since I could remember I had weighed the same, and looked at the same body in the mirror for decades. I was lucky, if not blessed to not have dealt with the “freshmen fifteen” or the inevitable weight gain that so many of my friends had. Good genes I guess. To see my body stretch and contort to those unbelievable proportions to accommodate two little people inside was at times overwhelming. The thought of what my body would look like after giving birth would sometimes bring me to tears.

The day after the twins were born, I took a picture of my hospital room in order to preserve the memory, and my reflection was caught in the mirror.  All I saw was my swollen belly. “Did you all forget to take a child out?” I asked the nurse half jokingly. “It’ll take as long as it took for you to grow those babies for you to lose that tummy,” she told me cheerfully. That wasn’t very comforting. I wanted my body back now. It appeared that it was gone forever. I felt guilty for caring. My body had done what, statistically, many women’s body’s couldn’t – carry two children full term. I should have been proud of my battle scars.

Now, ten months later; after a one month attempt at breastfeeding and subsequent occasional attempts at crunches, I’m beginning to see the body of Kesha past. It will never be the same though, and I’m beginning to accept that.

I wanted to write this post and reveal my body after twins because instead of feeling insecure, I wanted to begin to embrace the beauty of what the human body – my body – is capable of enduring. Hopefully I can be an inspiration to someone else who’s self image has changed due to child birth.

I still have a lot of work to do in the way of accepting my body as it is now. My husband took these pictures… And if you’d believe it, this was one of the only times in almost a year that he’s seen me without a shirt.

All in all, I’m proud of these pictures. Not because of how I look… but because of the journey that I took to get there.


 

 

22 Comments

  1. May 28, 2014 at 5:48 pm — Reply

    Embracing your body post pregnancy is hard but necessary. Kudos to you for doing this. There are so many women who need that reminder that their body did something that plenty women are unfortunately unable to do. We can be so hard on ourselves and our worst critics but we’re all beautiful as moms and the trillon and one things we juggle.

    • May 28, 2014 at 6:28 pm — Reply

      You are SO right. We ARE our own worst critics. Here’s hoping this piece helped at least a couple of women open their eyes and see more of the beauty in what they’ve done and less of the stretch marks and “poofiness” that was left behind. lol. Thank you so much for reading!

  2. November 11, 2013 at 5:54 am — Reply

    Man you rock! I keep looking at myself realizing that my body isn't going to be the same again. People keep telling me it will come with time. WE SHALL SEE!

    • November 11, 2013 at 9:05 am — Reply

      Thanks! You'll definitely see change with time. Your battle scars will fade and the muscles will tighten, but you're right, your body as you new it BB (before baby. lol) will never quite be the same. I think it's actually pretty cool though 🙂

  3. November 10, 2013 at 10:48 am — Reply

    You still doing better than me and I only got one…lol

    • November 10, 2013 at 3:29 pm — Reply

      Ha! Well thanks honey. I appreciate you stopping by and making a sista feel good about herself. lol.

  4. […] a little person living with you now), there are a few other not-so-obvious realities regarding sex after baby. For […]

  5. August 10, 2013 at 9:04 am — Reply

    Good for you! So proud of you for sharing your pics and for embracing your post-pregnancy bod. So many women try to hide their bodies after pregnancy. You, like myself, instead embrace the beautiful body that was able to produce these children. That's a beautiful and amazing feat! Why should we hide it afterwards? Great post! You are my inspiration!

    • August 10, 2013 at 9:07 am — Reply

      Thanks honey! I'm proud of what my little ol' body did. No shame in my game. lol. Thanks for the luv 🙂

  6. February 23, 2013 at 5:31 am — Reply

    It was soooo depressing when I was getting ready for my first baby and looked at a list of "what to bring to the hospital" and on the list was pants that were comfy at 5 months pregnant. Ack! I wore my mid-preggers jeans for months! Eh, I was never one to wear a bikini anyway.

  7. SisterSource
    May 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm — Reply

    Not battle scars or stretch marks, but love lines! It took all the love we had to carry and birth our babies. I earned EVERY one of my love lines during an extra long pregnancy–my son was 2 weeks 'late' and a 4 day labor (that is not a typo–labor started on Monday evening and he didn't arrive until Friday!). Repeat after me–LOVE LINES!

    • May 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm — Reply

      Okay, I've got to start using that one. lol… But on the days my twins do something outrageous, then I get to call them battle scars. lol!
      Thanks for stopping through 🙂
      [P.S. You are my hero with that labor.lol]

  8. […] My Body After Twins… Not for the faint of heart. […]

  9. May 24, 2012 at 5:10 am — Reply

    My eight year old noticed my stretch marks the other day. Ohhhh yeah.

    • May 24, 2012 at 5:16 am — Reply

       Battle scars girl, battle scars. Don't use the "S" word. lol.

  10. Jaileah
    April 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm — Reply

    I love this!!!! My twins are six weeks and I know I will never be the same but seeing you was do much better than seeing jlo or mariah with their fake tummies!! Twin mommy power!

    • April 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm — Reply

      Ha! That's exactly why I did this. I was almost fooled by those "fake" tummies too girl. I wanted to show what a real tummy looks like after two babies have their way with it. lol.

  11. Emiliane
    March 28, 2012 at 6:53 am — Reply

    Hi Kesha, OMG you look amazing… I have 4 months old twins and a big stretch marks belly going crazy because of that and can`t find time to work out. You really look great after 10 months and you can be sure that you encourage me a lot. Now I will be counting the months until I have 9 months old baby, hopefully I will be like you. Yesterday I had a fight with my DH about my belly and I will not show to him until gets better. Please Kesha tell me what did you do? work out? diet? tummy tuck? what?? Please help me. Thankyou so much for sharing your pic.

    • March 28, 2012 at 7:04 am — Reply

      Emilane, thank you so much! Girl don't fight about that belly. It'll go down naturally on its own. And I know this because besides the little bit of breastfeeding and the few crunches that I did, that was about the extent of my belly flattening efforts. I appreciate that you think it looks good. lol. I'm still a little self-conscious about it, but I've started running a bit again, so I'm sure it will get even better. My twins are 16 months now, and my belly looks even better than what you see in those pictures.
      Just give it some time 🙂
      Thank you so much for you comment!

  12. Calandra Cleveland
    March 1, 2012 at 1:12 pm — Reply

    I'm glad you shared your pictures. I have been battling with the fact that my body will never be the same. I had a set of B/G twins August 2011. I'm just getting to the point where I don't have a huge stomach. I have a 5 year old but my body did not stretch like it did with the twins. Sometimes I get discouraged about what my body will look like after the weight is totally gone. Especially, now that celebrities are dropping twins like it's a new trend and showing off bikini bodies months later. I definitely have battle scars to show from my bearing of twins. You have inspired me, to embrace the body that I have after bringing these two wonderful babies into this world. God Bless.

    • March 1, 2012 at 1:18 pm — Reply

      Calandra you've made my day girl! I'm so glad that I could be a bit of an inspiration to you… and I promise that it will get better. Even since I've written that post, my belly looks a whole lot better and less "worn" than it did. lol. Twins do a number on a body, but it's a pretty awesome thing. Thank you so much for your comment! 🙂

  13. September 29, 2011 at 2:02 pm — Reply

    awwww yeahhhhh :o)

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