An Unconventional Path to Parenthood…
In high school, I had my entire life planned out. I’d graduate and then go to college – A historically black one, because A Different World made them seem like so much fun. Then I’d graduate from college around the middle of my class (because no one likes an over-achiever) with two degrees. (If the first one didn’t work out, then I’d have a fallback). I’d work at my career for a couple of years – Not in a traditional office setting though. Too stuffy. I wanted to be somewhere that had beanbags for office chairs and cappuccino machines in the break room; And then maybe I’d find a husband and get married…
But life didn’t go as planned.
Apparently I’m a free spirit.
After my fourth major change I realized college, in the traditional since, was not for me. I decided to pursue other efforts. I’m one of those idealistic individuals who is dead set on having a career that I love. I didn’t want work to be… work. I wanted to make a career out of something that I loved doing.
I moved to Atlanta and tried everything. I attempted to pen a novel. I even modeled for a bit. Then I decided to start my own modeling agency. I dabbled in public relations. I played. I explored. I lived.
Somewhere amidst all of this I discovered my true loves: writing and graphic design. I decided that I would be single for awhile and develop my new found passions. Maybe until forty… Maybe for good. I’d save some money. Travel. Maybe have a kid one day… Maybe none at all.
And then life came along and knocked me flat on my as*.
I’d found a man – A pretty awesome man. He was kind, smart – Like no one I’d ever met. He could be a bit of a knuckle-head at times, but I loved him. He was my knuckle-head – and I wanted to marry him.
I figured this wonderful man would court me for about a year or so, and then ask my dad for my hand in marriage. (I have some old-fashioned tendencies. What can I say?) After that we’d travel, buy a home, and then have a kid… Just one. A son. And his name would be Joaquin. (I’d always liked that name.) Maybe I’d go back to school and study Advertising or Marketing. Who knew?
Interestingly enough, things didn’t follow that path either.
Eleven months after me and this wonderful man met, we moved in together. One month after I moved in, I found out that I was pregnant, and three weeks after that, we found out it was twins. (I was pregnant while moving in it would seem.)
I remember when I called my husband (who at the time was only my boyfriend) to tell him that the little white stick read positive. I was in tears and thought that he’d be as frightened and overwhelmed as I was.
“Okay”, he said quite matter-of-factly after I’d told him the news.
“Okay?” I was slightly stunned.
“Okay.” He said again firmly. “We can do this.”
He was right. We could do this… And we did.
9 months later we had two beautiful children to call our own, and one year after that – on a beautiful spring day under some cherry blossom trees in the heart of Atlanta – we sealed our union in front of family and a few close friends.
I quit my job to be a mother, wife, and writer. If you would’ve asked me ten years ago if this is where I’d thought I’d be, I would have laughed in your face and called you a loon. My life has gone in a completely different direction – and that’s okay.
Thanks to my husband, I still continue to pursue my passions, but I no longer see life as something to flit through. I now see life as something to establish. Things are no longer just about me and what I want to do. I’ve become an adult – or some semblance of one. I’ve become a parent. Now, my love and true passions are raising my children. That, combined with my inclination towards graphic design and writing, has yielded this super awesome blog that you’ve come to know and love today. I think that’s pretty dang cool.
Do I have this parenthood and being an adult stuff figured out? Heavens no, but I’m absolutely loving the journey.
What was your journey to parenthood like? Unconventional like mine? Traditional with a full courtship? Tell me about it in the comments!