I found this while stumbling around and couldn’t help but laugh out loud at some of these. Are you guilty of any of these?
HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
- Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
- Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
- Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
- Staple pages in the middle of the page.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
- TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- type only in lowercase.
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times. “DO YOU HEAR THAT?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”
How to Tick People Off via artlung.com
If you loved what you just read then I KNOW you'll love these:
I often try and find words to describe to my "non-parent" friends what parenthood is like. Karen of KarenSugarpants.com Karen Sugarpants » Parenthood Parenthood November 24, 2010 If you’ve ever: …gotten a lump in ...READ MORE!
This was freakin' hilarious. I can't imagine how mortified they both must have been to have had this conversation. I know that me and Ari are going to box if ...READ MORE!
This was too funny, and so on point. The Fiance and I have had plenty of conversations in reference to me reading too much into his actions... or in-actions. Sometimes ...READ MORE!
"Ohhh Christmas Tree, Ohhh Christmas Tree"... I posted this one right before the site crash and felt that it was worth resurrecting. It's Christmas from an interesting perspective... Merry Christmas Eve!READ MORE!
I stumbled across this great post and remembered many an agony filled New Year's Day where I had overdone it just a tad bit. I'm so glad those days are ...READ MORE!