Susanne Eman Wants To Make Morbid Obesity the New Black and You’re Lying If You Don’t Absolutely Love Mrs. Obama
DISCLAIMER: For the record, I have nothing against people who may be struggling with their weight, or people who simply like to be “large and in charge” for that matter… but there’s something wrong with this picture…
Susanne Eman, the woman who’s attempting to become the world’s fattest person (her words, not mine) is engaged! Her new man happens to be a chef.
I will not state the obvious here, but there must be some reason why she’s chosen this man as her love. Hm… I can’t put my finger on it. Anyway, Susanne’s new fiance Mr. Parker Clack says that he’s eager to help his lady love reach her dream weight of more than 1610 pounds. He says that he loves to cook for her. Well this is all fine and good, but I have obvious concerns here which extend beyond wondering how in the world she keeps her lady station clean. FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! THIS IS UNHEALTHY!!
Susanne has convinced herself that the bigger she gets, the sexier and the better she feels. Well the sexy part is up for debate, but I can’t imagine that it’s easy for her to get around; and I learned in my 7th grade science class the dangers of being that heavy. Her heart naturally has to work harder to pump blood throughout her body.
Susanne may be an anomaly though because to date she has no known illnesses – physical OR mental. In my personal opinion, it’s pretty irresponsible for her to encourage this morbid obesity. Susanne has been on multiple national television shows trying to convince the world that it’s okay to treat your body this way. God forbid an impressionable little girl actually listens to her.
If packing on the pounds makes you and your fiance all tingly, by all means go for it, but the world doesn’t need to hear about it.
Susanne, for your social irresponsibility and the horribly awkward mental images, I crown you our Celebrity NON Role Model of the Week.
I try my best to keep We Got Kidz as light-hearted and fun as possible; which means steering clear of certain heavy topics – namely politics. I have no shame in saying that I’m pretty apathetic when it comes to the current campaigning. (Don’t worry though, I still know what’s going on. My lovely husband is thoughtful enough to
torture me with share with me hours of the news mix channel every night.) With all that being said, I can’t help but to love our present First Lady Mrs. Michelle Obama.
She recently made her first appearance on David Letterman recounting her now famous visit to Target as well as giving her refreshing takes on parenting and family.
For your undeniable relatability and easy charm, Michelle Obama, we proudly crown you our Celebrity Role Model of the Week.
Way to not let the fact that your husband is Commander and Chief go to your head.
Tune in next week for more celebrities you love… and love to hate.